Grateful for #3

Today I find myself grateful for my home. I have the best of multiple worlds. A smallish loft apartment for everyday living, a large shop for hosting parties, country air, close to the city, my own space but a great support system living near my in-laws.

Of course there are things is change if I could, but I am quite grateful for what I have.

So you say you're uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public.

I understand why you are uncomfortable, society has been sexualizing breasts since before you were born. You, and many others have the sexual function of breasts in the forefront of your minds(thank you media) rather than their primary function, which is to nourish babies. The problem with that mentality, and with expressing your thoughts to suppress a woman's right to nurse her child, and that child's right to eat, is that it continues the de-normalization of breastfeeding.

Many people nowadays rarely, if ever, see women nourishing their babies with their body. Those people become parents or grandparents or aunts or child care providers and have a disconnect with (God's or) nature's design and choose to feed formula, which is proven to raise health risks. The increase in health problems as well as the enormous environmental impact of formula use affects everyone. That disconnect with nature's design can also lead women to not trusting their bodies' natural capabilities and intuition when it comes to health diagnosis, childbirth, taking control of health issues etc. It has been proven that the more a woman sees breastfeeding and hears positivity surrounding breastfeeding, the higher chance she has at breastfeeding her children and the longer that they will be able to nurse.
The health of children, the environment, economy, and society will be greatly improved when the majority of mothers breastfeed.

So try this. Instead of expressing discomfort with a mom nursing(covered or not) (verbally or with body language or after the fact gossiping), smile, nod, imagine your own babies, nieces, nephews, imagine love and support and realize that breasts were made to feed babies and mammals were designed (by God or evolution whichever you believe) to consume their own mother's milk. And parenting can be hard enough without criticism.

So you say "I couldn't nurse"?

I don't say this to be mean, or to make you feel guilty, or because I think I'm better than you. I'm not calling anyone a liar or a bad mom. It's not my intention to hurt feelings or to accuse anyone of wrong doing. But, how you talk about your lack of ability to breastfeed can make a difference to others.

It is VERY possible that you could have breastfed, had you received ample support and education. I DO NOT blame any mom for not breastfeeding, regardless on how much they did, or didn't try. I blame the many years of formula use. A seed was planted when formula was invented, a mixture of pharmaceutical company marketing, new mothers having to work more, and misinformed doctors, got moms and dads and aunts etc thinking that formula was better. Years of moms giving bottles (whose children "turned out fine") and those moms becoming grandmothers and not knowing how to able to best help their new mom offspring is to blame. (I could also talk of society's over-sexualization of breasts here too but I'll skip that) All those bottles (and "fine" outcomes) has de-normalized breastfeeding. It isn't seen as the normal, go-to, common way to feed a baby.
Science now has since proven that formula is inferior. Protective, defensive moms refuse to accept that they gave their child an inferior food, they're moms, they instinctively want whats best-and hate to think they made a "mistake" or that they could have done "better". So they either convince themselves they *couldn't* breastfeed, that formula was better in their situation, or they feel guilty.
No one should feel guilty besides formula manufacturers. They push their product at the health expense of babies and moms all over the world. They give free samples to new moms - knowing that once a mom starts using formula, it is very slippery slope toward exclusive formula use as it is hard to have enough milk supply and she will have to soon pay for formula. So I don't ever blame moms for not breastfeeding.
Moms who didn't breastfeed or stopped before long need to know though, that they shouldn't feel guilty. What I see is many many defensive silently guilt stricken moms perpetuating the myth that its common to not make enough/any milk. This only hurts babies.
Medically, it's very rare for a mom to not be able to make enough milk. I'm not calling you a liar if you believe you couldn't. I want you to know though that it was most likely not true. Instead of saying "I didn't make milk" or. "My baby wouldn't latch say "I didn't have enough information or support to breastfeed." maybe you didn't try, maybe you did, maybe the baby wouldn't latch and nurses or pediatricians or your partner or own mom pushed formula, maybe you had medical birth interventions which altered your hormones/body and baby's body and hormones maybe you never knew anyone who breastfed or for some other reason had skewed feelings about breasts and breastfeeding.

Medically though, if you had help getting baby latched and had information on how breasts work and how to succeed at breastfeeding, you most likely wouldn't have needed formula. Its not your fault. Please though, future moms see and hear what you say, if they hear "I didn't make milk" they will think it's common to not get milk and might think they won't make milk and not try. If they hear "I didn't get enough support or learn enough about breastfeeding" they'll seek support and knowledge and with that, they'll most likely breastfeed. Know better do better, at the time, when your new baby was born, you did what you knew, it's ok to learn better and do better next time, and in the meantime, help other moms learn better.

It takes a village, if accepting that possibly, you could have breastfed under better circumstances, you help another mom breastfeed, isn't that great? It's not a competition, don't inadvertently perpetuate myths that may lead others to make a mistake you made. If your kid fell out of a certain brand high chair, you wouldn't recommend or defend the highchair, you'd share the knowledge and hopefully help another mom. Same thing.

A few things: You don't know if you made milk or not if your baby never latched on or if you gave formula right away. Your breasts are supply and demand. If baby doesn't latch, you body thinks the baby died (it doesn't know about formula) and it will stop the hormonal process of making milk. If the baby gets formula, it will learn how to drink from a bottle and may not know how to latch onto a breast.
Not leaking or swelling during pregnancy doesn't mean you can't feed. Neither does small breasts or large breasts pierced nipples, or breast surgery(although it may mean more challenges) or adoption (yes even women who've never been pregnant can lactate, although this is much more effort, stress and often not enough for exclusive breastfeeding). Newborn tummies are as big as a cherry, colostrum is plenty until the first milk transitions to mature milk. Breastfeeding is natural, but doesn't always come naturally, it takes some learning to know how to hold baby, what a good latch looks like, and how much a baby nurses. If it doesn't come easy, it doesn't mean you can't breastfeed.

Blog bombarding.

(I just made that term up)

Cleaning off my phone tonight I found some old (like a year or 2 or 3 old) rambly notes on various topics. Decided to blog them. Because they're not doing any good sitting around on my phone.

you have been warned

Grateful for... Entry #2

(Totally had to add the "entry" in the title because it sounded like I was grateful for poop without it.)

I am often quite thankful for our fertility and easy pregnancies.

I have several close friends who have struggled with infertility and pregnancy loss and it breaks my heart for them.

When I recall my TTC adventures I think of those who have much more difficult stories to tell.

Before Ellie, we were "not trying not preventing" although I did want to get pregnant and didn't want to waste any opportunities.
[I always feared I'd have fertility issues, partly because it seems they always happen to those who would be the best parents. And partly because I wasn't always the most responsible sexually active woman of childbearing age and never had any oopses.]
I did imagine getting pregnant and thought about it often and visualized it (had recently read The Secret).
I had dreamt I was pregnant and took a test that morning I woke up and was thrilled.

When Ellie was almost 2 we took out the Mirena and wanted to wait a few months to get the hormones out if my system. We "tried" (as in intentionally made the sperm go inside) for 2 cycles then thought to get my thyroid checked. The numbers were crazy so we adjusted my dosage and checked it a month later. The numbers were good and I was ovulating a few days later.
We had considered not trying that cycle since it would put the next baby's birthday a couple weeks from Ellie's but waiting another month would still be the same issue and I still had that infertility worry, even after an easy time with E, so we just *enjoyed* our vacation.

I was thrilled when I noticed my reduced appetite (basically my only symptom with Ellie) a few weeks later.
A few weeks after that I took a test a and had a BFP.

We had a very easy time of getting pregnant.

I am grateful for that.

I also have very easy pregnancies, despite the gestational diabetes with Penny. I also had quite short uneventful natural vaginal births.
I am thankful for that.
We also have had very easy times breastfeeding. I know moms who have really struggled and I am thankful for the easy time we have had.

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So I contemplated not writing this. I do not want to make anyone who struggled with infertility, pregnancy complications or breastfeeding struggles feel bad.
But I have this theory about stubbed toes.
http://www.thebadassbreastfeeder.com/i-did-not-stub-my-toe-today/

Grateful for...

I was just laying in bed contemplating writing a post about what I am thankful for. I have a long list but I wasn't sure what I would write about.

Then, out of nearly nowhere, I hear Ellie, laying in the sidecar crib next to me, throwing up. Record breaking (I'm sure) amounts of throw up. Thanks to my mama ninja skills. And having extra large burp clothes handy (usually for leaky breasts or baby spitup) I caught all but the first amount.
She barely stirred (had stirred about 3 minutes earlier but not uncommon for her) and barely reacted to the throwing up and fell right back to sleep after.

Had I not been right there I'm sure it would have been a much bigger, more traumatizing (for her and I) mess as I'm sure she would have gotten it in hair and all over face and more than the one unfortunate stuffed toy. (She has quite a menagerie of animals normally.)

I must also say, I am grateful for a helpful hubby who rinsed out the clothes and fetched me warm rags, new sheets etc. And I'm grateful that Penny slept through it all and that I don't have an overly strong gag reflex.

Not sure what caused it, we all ate the same thing at dinner, she had an applesauce cup and we all had some popcorn before bed. I just hope Mikey's parents and grandma don't get sick too, being elderly and all.

I won't likely sleep well tonight, but I am happy to at least I can not-sleep well in my own bed with my sick kiddo in her, now extra padded bed, in arms reach, rather than worrying from another room or having to overly pad our bed to bring her in our bed for the night. Or sleep on the floor of her room.

Also bonus tip, if your long- haired child goes to bed sick, put the hair up in a high loose pony tail, this should (I hope) keep any more puke out of the hair.

My view from here:

Making room.

I am starting to feel like we really have too much stuff. I thought about what we acquired recently and am thinking of what can move out to make room.

I recently bought 3 new bottles (2 as back up I'm trying to wash Penny's one bottle after work each day.) I packed away 5 of Ellie's sippy cups. That freed up space in the cupboard bin for not only the extra bottles but also the extra milk storage bags. (Bought a 4x25=100 pack and that box doesn't fit in the drawer with the ziplocks, the 25packs do so 3 packs are in the box still.)

I also moved infrequently used kitchen gadgets out of that drawer to make room for the pump parts/pump bottles.

My next big focus is the office. I have a wonderful dresser I have previously devoted to gift wrap and generic gifts and extra goodie bag fillers.
Up in the attic the other day I found a box with some gift stuff in it and realized that I wrap gifts so infrequently that I could totally go into the attic for that task. And thought of using plastic totes like I used to for gift wrap stuff.
Looking in the office I see a short dresser that is half toys half Ellie's socks tights and panties. There's a drawer in penny's dresser that had attic stuff in it, so I re-arranged a few drawers and can move that little dresser up to the attic for gift wrap. I will keep one drawer of a few generic gift bags and tissue for last minute wrapping down in the office but this will free up so much space in my office!
Or I might keep the little dresser in the office for storage. I will decide.

I will also be relocating some glassware and books to the attic too.
There's just too much stuff in my office!

I know some FlySisters are probably thinking I should purge stuff to make room. I know I know. Tell hubby that.

I will be back with updates.

For now here is a little before pic to keep me accountable: