Fluttering, AGAIN

SO I clearly do not blog often enough because when I came to see when the last time I had blogged was, it was january (which i didnt publish until just now) and this post from October, last year. I just shake my head and laugh at how I could have written almost the same thing this last month. I decided to update it:

I haven't been flying lately, barely fluttering, if that. It has put a strain on my marriage and caused an irritability from me and disconnect with my kids too.
CURRENTLY: SAME EXACT THING

But I'm dusting off my wings. I got so disgustingly far behind in cleaning my kitchen we had the most fruit flies that we've ever had, ever. They were even in the cracker and bread baskets (although I noticed that after cleaning most more obvious food sources, perhaps they were just scrounging.)
RECENTLY HAD BASICALLY THE SAME EXACT PROBLEM

I procrastinated doing costumes (although they turned out awesome!), and getting ready for the party. 
I FOUND SOME STORE BOUGHT COSTUMES FOR THE GIRLS THIS YEAR, STILL NEED TO PUT HUBBY AND MINE TOGETHER.

We ended up postponing the Halloween party a day due to terrible weather and the power flickering. (Many local friends were without power, luckily we never lost ours completely) So I got an extra morning to do stuff for it, made it less stressful. And Ellie had a fever the night before the actual party so it was nice that we already had most of the set- up done before deciding to postpone.
The party was still a great success, lots of lots of kids and families had great fun.
WE CANCELED THE HALLOWEEN PARTY THIS YEAR BECAUSE OUR SHOP IS NO WHERE NEAR READY.

The daily goal going forward:
Finish cleaning up after the party (it was in the shop so not our regular living space), catch up on laundry (must wash Halloween costume clothes by Friday!), wash dishes daily, keep the floor swept (TMI but there was a sequin, from Ellie's crafts stuff, in Penny's poop the other day, clearly she found it on the floor, and ate it.) and spend 15-30 minutes decluttering and cleaning the craft room/office until it is tidy enough to actually work in. (It is still a wreck from moving rooms and then making costumes).
CLEAN HOUSE UP AGAIN

To end on a high note:
I did get a lot picked up in the craft room/ office when I was in training at work Monday (as much as I could tethered to the phone headset listening to the training conference call).
CRAFT ROOM IS PRETTY CLEAN ACTUALLY, I WORKED ON IT A LOT A FEW WEEKS AGO AND TIDY'D IT FOR A PARTY (THEN IT DIDNT ACTUALLY GET USED FOR THE PARTY)
I took back some merchandise returns finally so our trip to walmart for tooth brushes, dish brush, rain poncho, deli food for dinner and soda stream syrup only cost like $3 (also thanks to Savings Catcher gift card).
I COULD TELL THAT I WAS STRUGGLING WITH MONEY THIS TIME LAST YEAR, WE ARE STRUGGLING AGAIN NOW.

I'm almost caught up on dishes (washed a mountain of them and actually put them away today!)
I put away a basket of laundry and picked up laundry today.
DISHWASHER IS GOING NOW!
Made a hot breakfast for the family last couple days.
The fruit flies are nearly gone! Thanks to not buying any fresh fruit, acv+ dawn traps, funnel-on-cup traps and a few fly strips and commercial fruit fly traps. (and cleaning/washing dishes)
YES THEY ARE NOW TOO, I FOUND A FEW WHEN I WAS WASHING DISHES THIS MORNING BUT BASICALLY GONE.

Tomorrow we go to the Pumpkin Patch (didn't get to go earlier in the month.) Made hubby cancel his regular Wednesday night plans so he can be home with the kids because I swapped my shift at work to get the first few hours of my shift off, and I'm working late instead. Hoping it doesn't rain too bad- prepared if it does.
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO YESTERDAY BUT GOT THERE AND REALIZED WE DIDNT PLAN FOR THE ENTRANCE FEE, AND IT IS FREE WEEKDAYS SO WE ARE GOING TO GO TODAY, AND IT WAS BEAUTIFULLY CLEAR YESTERDAY, RAINING TODAY (OF COURSE)
We plan to carve pumpkins Thursday night.
SAME ACTUALLY

I realize I have found myself in this place many times, struggling or recently struggling and I have committed so many times to do better at everything, it is a constant focus to improve, and needed because I always slip slide backwards.
I'm not giving up though.
THE HILARITY OF THIS STATEMENT, I COULDNT COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I RECOMMITTED TO FLYING.
I THINK THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL ALWAYS STRUGGLE WITH, BUT AS LONG AS I GET UP MORE TIMES THAT I FALL, I WILL STILL BE UP!

Cliche New a Year Weight Loss Resolution

I am doing the cliche New Years thing. Not because there is anything magical about the changing calendar but because the holidays are over and things are settling down and I will be better able to focus on my goals. 

I haven't been going crazy eating everything in the house but I've not been counting anything and won't until New Year's Day. 

I have been throwing away leftover goodies, everything sweet left after our Christmas party the 28th was thrown away. The gingerbread train my daughter made is gone. Goodie plates 1&2 are gone (mostly eaten partly trashed) and #3 is getting tossed tomorrow. Leftover Halloween candy was pitched. Tomorrow I purge the snack baskets of anything I can't portion into 100cal baggies. 

Santa didn't put any candy in any stockings (except 1 smallish piece of locally made gourmet fudge). 

We ate the last freezer party pizza and lays chips today. 

In the fridge are some large bags of salad, and in the freezer some chicken and turkey and fish and lots of frozen veg to get us by until the first big shopping trip after the 3rd when we get foodstamps. 

I've been wearing my "wearable" aka activity tracker bracelet so I got used to wearing it. I've only slightly been trying to get more steps in so far, but I have bean wearing Penny on my back a lot more lately (due to necessity) so that's good. 

(More on the tracker later) 

My husband and in-laws are on board too! All are gearing up and committed to cutting carbs and shrinking portion sizes. If an easy meal says it'll feed 4, us 4Adults+1 kid+1baby can share it if we add a bunch of veggies and salad and lean protein. (I say this because I do have a couple frozen family style dinners in the freezer still and we usually make 2 and eat most of both. I just cannot afford to throw any food (other than sugary cookies & candy) away so we will portion what we have and avoid buying junky foods going forward. 

One we have is a chicken Alfredo pasta bake, add in a bunch of chopped cooked chicken and broccoli (and not add cheese like usual) and we can stretch the carbs thinner and lower each persons calorie intake by A LOT while increasing protein and fiber.

Sometimes we eat with my in-laws but usually we don't. If a meal element says it serves 4 we will serve 2 portions to a freezer bowl and into the freezer for another meal and limit ourselves to what's left. 

My other resolution is to do better at cleaning house. The added activity will definitely help. I get roughly 200 steps for each trip to reboot laundry and slightly more than that taking trash out. 

Playing outside with Ellie is another goal of mine, I can walk laps while she plays independently. 

Bring on the new year! 

Fluttering

I haven't been flying lately, barely fluttering, if that. It has put a strain on my marriage and caused an irritability from me and disconnect with my kids too.

But I'm dusting off my wings. I got so disgustingly far behind in cleaning my kitchen we had the most fruit flies that we've ever had, ever. They were even in the cracker and bread baskets (although I noticed that after cleaning most more obvious food sources, perhaps they were just scrounging.)
I procrastinated doing costumes (although they turned out awesome!), and getting ready for the party.
We ended up postponing the Halloween party a day due to terrible weather and the power flickering. (Many local friends were without power, luckily we never lost ours completely) So I got an extra morning to do stuff for it, made it less stressful. And Ellie had a fever the night before the actual party so it was nice that we already had most of the set- up done before deciding to postpone.
The party was still a great success, lots of lots of kids and families had great fun.

The daily goal going forward:
Finish cleaning up after the party (it was in the shop so not our regular living space), catch up on laundry (must wash Halloween costume clothes by Friday!), wash dishes daily, keep the floor swept (TMI but there was a sequin, from Ellie's crafts stuff, in Penny's poop the other day, clearly she found it on the floor, and ate it.) and spend 15-30 minutes decluttering and cleaning the craft room/office until it is tidy enough to actually work in. (It is still a wreck from moving rooms and then making costumes).

To end on a high note:
I did get a lot picked up in the craft room/ office when I was in training at work Monday (as much as I could tethered to the phone headset listening to the training conference call).
I took back some merchandise returns finally so our trip to walmart for tooth brushes, dish brush, rain poncho, deli food for dinner and soda stream syrup only cost like $3 (also thanks to Savings Catcher gift card).
I'm almost caught up on dishes (washed a mountain of them and actually put them away today!)
I put away a basket of laundry and picked up laundry today.
Made a hot breakfast for the family last couple days.
The fruit flies are nearly gone! Thanks to not buying any fresh fruit, acv+ dawn traps, funnel-on-cup traps and a few fly strips and commercial fruit fly traps. (and cleaning/washing dishes)

Tomorrow we go to the Pumpkin Patch (didn't get to go earlier in the month.) Made hubby cancel his regular Wednesday night plans so he can be home with the kids because I swapped my shift at work to get the first few hours of my shift off, and I'm working late instead. Hoping it doesn't rain too bad- prepared if it does.
We plan to carve pumpkins Thursday night.

I realize I have found myself in this place many times, struggling or recently struggling and I have committed so many times to do better at everything, it is a constant focus to improve, and needed because I always slip slide backwards.
I'm not giving up though.

Unschooling style grocery trip

Some kids go to school for like 6 hours a day. Some kids do schoolwork at home. Some kids are unschooled.
Unschooling is basically just the philosophy that children can prosper simply by learning through life, parents provide opportunities for children to learn through daily life and interests and play. Life and interests are a natural motivator to learn and children (all people actually) learn best when the motivation comes from within and is focused on an interest the person has.
I try to always see and utilize the natural learning experiences life provides. (Try! I'm working on doing it more).
Today at the grocery store Ellie (3.5) helped read the signs, helped write codes on the bulk bin tags and I explained how we know how much something costs. (Social knowledge, math).
Ellie learned letter recognition when we checked the bulk item tags against the bins, (I write curly 2s, the sign has flat bottomed 2s). (Literacy)
We weighed the package of mushrooms to see how the scale pointed to 8oz which is half way to the pound mark, then read the package where it said 8oz (math and science ) (I realize these are advanced topics for her to master.)
She counted the peaches as we bagged them up. (Math)
Ellie told me what letters were on the fruit signs so we could find the peaches, (literacy) and used texture to tell the difference between nectarines and peaches. (Fine motor development)
She used small motor control writing on the tags and large motor control hanging on the cart, lifting groceries and and scooping from the bins. (Physical development). Learned impulse control sitting in the cart after loading groceries on the bin. (Physical development)
We read the granola bar names and she found which one had a C for cashews. (Moons as she calls them, cashews not Cs). (Literacy)
Looking at cereal bars, she "read" the boxes by looking at the fruit pictures on the box (early literacy, representation) to find the one she wanted.
We read ingredients to find some juice that wasn't mostly sugar. We talked about healthy drinks and treat drinks. (Health and physical development)
We talked about how the deli closes at night because less people want pizza and smoothies late at night. (Social knowledge).
She moved out of other people's way and we said excuse me, and waited our turn to talk to the cashier. (Social development).

While this trip took a little longer than normal for what we were getting, it was also more peaceful because I was really paying attention to Ellie and remembering that she is only 3 and I kept appropriate expectations for her. She wasn't bored and she felt proud of contributing. Her ideas were heard since she had some say as to what we bought (she begged for broccoli and carrots, mom win!)

Another decent day

So every other Thursday I volunteer a warm line phone shift for the nursing mothers counsel. I've been doing it for months and finally got an actual call from someone needing actual support. (Ive only ever had business related or telemarketing calls before). I hope I was able to help.

So I started my day actually getting up and dressed and glancing at the calendar and remembered to set up the NMC call forwarding. Took my meds and put away a load of laundry. Then got a bottle ready in the fridge and sat down to pump. Ellie wakes, and, accustomed to having "morning milky" in bed, snuggles on the couch for some. After a few minutes I got a NMC call and hid in my office to talk. Ended up talking for a decent amount of time then had some after call work to do. By this time it was nearly 10:45 and Ellie had fallen back to sleep on the couch. I swept the living room floor so Penny could crawl around and not try to eat anything dangerous. I nursed Penny a bit and poured Mikey some cereal (I offered eggs) and went to work. Forgot to eat breakfast myself.

On my break from work I nursed Penny, pumped and made myself oatmeal to eat when I got back to work (we have a team meeting directly after my break on Thursdays so I am able to eat).

On my lunch break I guided Ellie making lunch, (score for unschooling math, science, using scissors and involving Ellie- even if all we ate was breakfast "corn dogs" aka sausage wrapped in pancake on a stick). Then nursed penny nearly back to sleep before returning to work.

After work, My MIL had brought home (we live on the same property and often eat together in the shared home theater) sandwiches for dinner and we watched football. (They did, I relaxed some, ate, then rebooted laundry and cleaned my kitchen a bit while grandma held baby). I set Ellie up with a craft activity- real dried leaf collage with markers and glue on recycled cardboard (score for that) while I worked .

When MIL left, Penny played on the floor a bit then went in the Boba on my back to finish up the dishes. I set Ellie up with a movie in our bedroom which she wasn't interested in. Penny fell asleep on my back so I kept working picking up the house (it's still a wreck though) since I knew she wouldn't transfer well. I got a load of towels folded onto the changing table in the bathroom (didn't wanna bend down to put them away) a mountain of dishes washed, kitchen swept, shoes picked up and recycling sorted.
I cleaned for nearly all of Wall-E.

Once Penny woke I took a break then put the towels away and picked up a basket of laundry in the bathroom then read to Ellie while Penny played.

When we came to bed Ellie declared that she wanted popcorn with Wall-E. (which was long over) I told her tomorrow we could but she was upset so I suggested she write a reminder.
(Score for turning a potential tantrum-ish into literacy activity.)
So she wrote a note with help spelling, but she did sound out quite a few letters and wrote them all herself. "Ellie wants to play games and eat popcorn".

Pics: the floor before I got it clean, the baby I kept happy and fed and my literary genius.

The mom I wanna be

I want to wake up, get dressed and get my morning routine done.
Then I want to eat breakfast with my daughters and talk to them.
Then I want to go outside and just let Ellie play. Perhaps get some exercise in.
After outside play time I will get ellie a snack and prepare for work. Get a bottle ready, fill my water cup, make a healthy snack and pump milk /nurse the baby.
I want to focus on work for my entire shift, and focus on the kids my breaks.
After work I will connect with the kids and make dinner.
After dinner, set Ellie up with an activity and clean the kitchen, wear Penny if needed. An hour before bed we will play a game and/ or read.
Once kids are both asleep. I can blog, Facebook, craft, or do an organization project.
Go to bed at a decent hour.

Let's do this!

A decent day.

So I woke up tired, but motivated. Got up and dressed. I started a load of laundry. Then I made split pea soup. I had cleaned out the freezer yesterday and found a meaty ham bone and several containers of homemade turkey stock (yes from Thanksgiving). So I started the crock pot.
Then took Ellie outside to play in puddles. A new goal to make sure she plays outside every day!
Came inside and gave Ellie (and her leaf collection) a bath. Then pumped milk and nursed Penny to sleep before work.
After work (which was a good day) I finished the soup, made corn bread muffins (actually Ellie did most the work! Another goal to involve her more with housework and cooking) and switched the laundry.
We enjoyed dinner with my in- laws and I did NOT go get Dairy Queen as I wanted. (Other goal to not spend $!)

When we got home from eating / hanging out at the in- laws I washed up a mountain of dishes. Partially with Penny on the counter and most the time with her on my back.

I also resisted the urge to turn the tv on for Ellie while I worked, instead taught her the awesomeness of lining up dominos and knocking them over.

Then I made dessert for Mikey. I had found (who knows how old- I think from Halloween year before last) cake crumbles in the freezer (I forget what happened but I am guessing the cake was too crumbly to use?). It still tasted ok so I mixed the crumbles with cream cheese and smashed it into the bottom of a Tupperware and covered with instant pudding for a pie of sorts. It was ok, but I wouldn't make it again.

While I could have done more around the house , today is a day I can be proud of.